Lonely Christmas...

Finally some vacations. A time to relax, watch TV, sleep until late at night and all that stuff, but sometimes it gets boring...I love to relax and all, but I get bored few hours later. I think that vacations is the time to do nothing, relax, and have fun, but sometimes is too boring...

This Christmas I am not traveling and I don't like the idea...I feel like this Christmas is going to be boring. I won't see my family, specially my grandma that lives in Canada but came to Bogota. I cannot believe that she did travel and could see our family and I didn't!

I miss her a lot. I haven't seen her for about two years. My grandpa is also very funny. He is so much like my brother...They make friends everywhere, they talk to everyone, they are not shy of anything, and they both make me laugh a lot when I need it. I miss them both....

I know this Christmas I am going to have a great present, but what's the point if there's nobody that could share this moment with me. I know there is my little brother, my mom and dad, but it is not the same. I am always with them (with my dad not much but that is not the point), and I won't see my family in Bogota, Colombia...I will feel kind of lonely.

This Christmas we will have to go to on of my dad's friends house. I don't know them almost at all. I just know they are Mexican and I don't even talk much with his nine-year daughter. There's no one with my age. I hope that at least my mom makes the natilla. The natilla is a delicious dessert that my grandma taught my mom that is usually made on Christmas in Colombia. I love it.

This Christmas is going to be really different and kind of lonely, but at least we, my mom, my dad, and my little brother, are going to be together. We are going to celebrate Jesus' Birth all together as a family, and I hope we pass a good time.

Perfect Time for the Family

In this vacations I want to relax a little and actually pass time with my family...I hope. My dad has never missed a Christmas (he missed my birthday three years in a row), but now I am not sure...He is traveling a lot, more than usual (even though it sounds impossible), and my mom says that he might work on December 24!

I don't remember him working on December 24. He actually worked by his laptop at home, but he was at home. I want him to be once focused on us and not in his laptop... I know he has to work and stuff, but he is really busy these days. I miss him sometimes, even though we are all used to him not being home. I want this Christmas to actually pass it as a family. I want him to be there when I open my presents and tell him "Thank you!"

It is bad enough to pass another Christmas far from my family... I haven't seen my grandparents in two years! I really miss them, and my grandma was sick recently. I wish I could have been there....

This Christmas I really want things too change. I even saved some money to buy something to my parents! (I washed both of our cars every Saturday...) My dad is so busy that sometimes I think his family is his two laptops and his blackberry. I want my dad back with us, specially this Christmas and I still hope he would.

Not a Very Relaxing Day

I am always busy doing my homework in the afternoon and I don't have much time to watch TV. I try to speed up a little on Wednesdays because we leave school earlier and I will have even more time to relax a while.

Yesterday it was a perfect day to relax. It was Wednesday, I finally fiished my homework early (awkward) and I had some free time so I went to the sofa and watched TV. I was enjoying it because I've been very busy studying for the final exams in Math, and then all of a sudden the lights go off. The only day when I could relax the lights go off.

"That;s is so not fair," I thought. "Now what?"

I went to my parents' room (my dad was traveling so it was my mom's room temporarily) and found my mom there. Before I could say something she instantly said,

"I know there's no light."
"So what do we do?" I asked kind of pissed
"I'm not sure...Call your brother please," she told me
"Okay."

Before I could say anything Santi, my little six year old brother, was there (good for me). We were bored all now and it was getting dark. My brother didn't care so he grabbed some markers and started to draw.

At the beginning I did not want to draw with him, but at the end we almost fought for a red marker. I draw a weird heart because that was the only thing that I could think of. Santi and I drew something similar (he copied me). We kept on drawing until we couldn't see (thirty minutes later) and we got tired. How could we draw if we couldn't even see the color of the markers?

We were getting really bored and pissed because it was really hot and we would have to sleep without air conditioner. My mom's back still hurt and Santi was bothering us a lot (my little brother is a hyperactive kid).

Everything was going wrong, until suddenly the lights went back on. I was with my mouth wide open. After all that happened today the lights went back on right after my favorite TV show. At least I watched some TV and relaxed a little at night...

Happy Mother's Day...or Not

Yesterday my mom worked so I didn't pass much time with her...I wanted to wish her Happy Mother's Day when she woke up, but I was asleep... My mom's back hurt and we don't know why. Everything went wrong since morning.

My mom had to go to work because she already spent the money that her boss paid her in Christmas gifts. I wanted to surprise her at morning, but she went early. I waked up half an hour later....My brother always waked up early so he did gave her a Mother's Day little gift.

My mom worked until three o'clock and then we all went to eat at a restaurant. I finally wished my mom a Happy Mother's Day. We ate what we wanted and my mom loves that. She doesn't like to gives us some cheap things, she gives us what we want if she can. My dad is totaly the opposite, but that's another story.

In the afternoon everything changed for my mom. We paid a lot of attention to her and we even massaged her back! I also gave her a little gift that she will need next year, an agenda. She is really organized and she cannot live without an agenda. It was pretty nice, though. At night she thanked us for everything we did for her, even though it was not much... At the end she was happy.

"Life it's not fair, get used to it"

I just came from Math class a little upset of all what I have to study for the final exams. I'm in Algebra Honors and it is very difficult...We go faster than the other classes and we are expected to do better. We've learned about five chapters and like four lessons or so each chapter. I am kind of frustrated because I don't remember most of it! The finals are coming very soon and I have to study everything that I learned and that I forgot.

I like Math and I am trying to do my best. I know it is difficult, but I want to and I keep on. Most of the people say that they hate math because it is so complicated. I like it. I like how it is complicated and I understand it. Some people like writing more, but in my case my weakness is writing, but that is another story. I want to be good at what I like so I try my best.

I realized that I have to put a lot of effort to make my goals but I like it, though. I also noticed that everything that I want or like won't be easy to get. Nothing in life is easy and now I know. Like my old History teacher said,"Life it's not fair, get used to it" and I understand what he means.

This can apply to many examples, simple or very meaningful. If I just started playing golf and I quit few months later because I sucked is the same as if I was quit college because it was too difficult. They both are different examples, but they both give the same message. Nothing is easy in life, but with effort you can make it.

Venezuela

Venezuela,

My home country
The place were I am actually from
Full of beautiful landscapes with crystal clear water and abundant vegetation
The country with the tallest water falls
"El Salto Angel"
where the Orinoco River goes through.

Venezuela,

Place where the most beautiful women are
Country full of tequeños and cachapas
Always celebrating important holidays
Variety of indigenous groups
Country of the "bolivar fuerte"

Venezuela,

Place that Simon Bolivar discovered
Country where it's difficult to live
Bordered by Colombia, Brazil and Guiana
Place where I was born
The country where I am from

Venezuela, my true home

I write because it's a way were I can express myself and finally get over it. I get relieved when write. I found that I can write my problems and do a good work at the same time while I write. When I think of something that I could write about in class I sometimes think about my problems or about what's happening in my life. I think of other stuff, but at the end I write about me. It's easier. Nobody can explain my life better than me and I express my feelings in what I write.

All of the stories that I've wrote here are really what I think and feel. I feel much better because I am feeling that I am finally doing a good work. It's pretty hard for me to write when I have to, not when I want to. I get kind of nervous because I think of my grade. I know I am not a pro so I get nervous. I really care a lot about my grades, but I realized that when I write I am supposed to express myself, not to have a good grade. I write because I want to and I like to, not because I have to.

At the beginning of the year I disliked English because the only thing we did was write and I didn't do well. I tried and all but I knew it was not enough. Then I tried to change my writing. I tried to write more personally and it worked! I still know I am not a pro, but I have improved. Before I preferred much more math than writing. I still do but not that much. Now I realized why do I like to write.

I like to write because I can express myself. I can talk about my problems or my life. I know I still have a lot to learn about writing, but at least I found a way to enjoy it. I finally noticed what I could do to have a good grade enjoying it. Now I enjoy to write of myself, about my conflicts and stuff and it feels good. I can let go everything out. Now I write happily and without no concern about my grade.

Merry Christmas!

Dear Mom,

Merry Christmas! You’ve always helped me with your affable personality the entire year, and now I want you to derive something from me. I know dad, Santiago and I don’t help much at home, but you still maintain your special disposition even though I know you want to extricate from cleaning our disorder. You pervade laughter and happiness in the family. I want to change these prevalent disorders for you even though it’ll be difficult. You keep telling us, it even sounds as if you were entreating us, but we don’t pay attention to it. I just want the family to have a good time celebrating that Jesus was born, not wondering if they got their gifts of the long inventory they made for Christmas. I want us to have a serene family dinner, not in a rush. Don’t worrying about the presents, even though I am one of the people that do care about them but I try to don’t be so obvious. My parents surmise that my brother and I will be more patient each year and we will open the gifts gingerly, but it’s the opposite. To be concise I want to instill you my best wishes.

Sincerely,

Natalia Mesa

So Busy...

I'm tired of my dad traveling so much because of his work. Right now he's in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Usually he passes about one week at home in an entire month! My dad passes more time working than anything else. I know he works to sustain us and all but I am tired.

He wasn't present in most of my childhood and in my brother's. He has to so math to know how old I am and my birthday is three days after his! How can he forget? I know exactly how old he is, his birthday and when he was married. The important dates. How can he not know well my how old I am!

He wasn't present in three of my birthdays in a row! He always called and congratulated me, but it is not the same...We passes those three years in Bogota, Colombia. He always came a week later. Well, like you know his birthday is three days before mine so I couldn't pass his birthday with him. At least we both were present in both of our birthdays this year.

Like I told you he travels everywhere. To China, Dubai, Brazil, Colombia, USA, and more. He even went to Hungary and Turkey! He traveled to all of those places and he didn't take time to go and know new stuff, he just worked at the hotel. That's how busy he is...When he travels he sometimes brings us some souvenirs, but lastly he hasn't. He is now very busy.

Well, my dad also studies. He just finished an MBA in Duke University. He has studied his whole life and continues. Right now he's doing something similar but in the company so he has to travel a lot to the US. My dad still passes Christmas with us. He isn't that busy to be somewhere else but with us in Christmas.

To be concise he has been busy his whole life and I am getting very tired. My little brother doesn't pay attention to it yet because my dad brings us chocolates or little gifts. My brother loves gifts. He says that if he doesn't get a PSP for Christmas he will be mad! And I think he will because he will get a PlayStation 3...I would personally prefer a PlayStation 3 than a PSP. What I want for Christmas is having my dad with us.

My Family

I realize how lucky I am of having a family. There are a lot of divorced parents all over the world with suffering kids, but I still have both of my parents and my little brother. Like every couple they fight and all, but they are still together.

I feel kind of sad when I see divorced parents. They separate their kids or they take turns. I think that is harsh. I mean, who wants to choose between one of their parents? Well there are people that don't care and go with the parent that has more money or that treats him or her better or something. I don't think it's right to choose between the two persons that you love the most.

There are many kids that get very depressed and their personality changes totally. Some of them get so depressed that they prefer to die and they commit suicide. That is very sad...My dad's parents got divorced and it affected him a lot. He doesn't accept it but he shows it. That's why I get so scared when my parents fight; I don't want them to divorce or something. I really care about both of them and I don't want to end like my dad. I don't want to be sad my whole life because of my parents. Unfortunately I am one of the girls that take the simplest stuff seriously.

Now that Thanksgiving passed I am very thankful of having a family. I love my little brother a lot and I really care about him. I fight quite a lot with him, but he knows that I love him even though sometimes I am not very nice to him...We both know that I care about him and he corresponds me showing his love to me.

Now that Thanksgiving passed I noticed how lucky I am. I have a mom and a dad that love me and that care about me. There are many kids in the world without parents or with careless parents that suffer because of them. I have everything that I need and I am very thankful.

From Only Child to Old Sister

When I was six years old I was still an only child. My parents weren't thinking of having another baby or anything but I was desperate! I wanted a little brother or sister, I didn't care. I just wanted somebody to be with. My parents told me that if I prayed for a little baby brother every night it might happen. I prayed every night when my mom went to my bed and said,

"Good night sweet heart. Sleep well"

I felt very lonely. I mean it's cool that your parents give you everything you want and all, but what's the point if you don't have someone to play with. My parents sometimes played with me, specially my mom, but I wanted something else.

Finally one day my mom couldn't take me to school because she was going to the doctor. I didn't pay much attention to it. My day went normally until I got home and my mom had great news. I had no inkling what she was going to say.

"Hi honey. How was school today?" she said happily.
"Fine. Today one girl told me jerk just because I had a better grade," I said quite lackadaisical.
"Oh honey. Don't pay attention to her," she said trying to cheer me up a little.
"Okay. But what happened? Why are you so happy?" I said trying to change the converstation.
"Oh well honey. I have great news for you. I'm having a baby!" she finally said.

I was totally shocked. Finally I would have a new baby brother or sister!

"Ahhhhhhh!" I shouted.

I was so excited!

"Is it a boy or a girl?" I said with a profuse joy.
"I don't know yet honey. We have to wait a little," she replied.

I would finally have a brother or sister! After six years there will be a new little person in the family. The next day I told everyone that I was going to have a little brother or sister. I was so excited. I was going to embark a new level in my life. I was going to be an old sister! Five months passed quickly and we discovered that I was going to have a baby brother. We were all happy.

I remember that one day we were thinking about my brother's name.

"Sebastian?" my mom said.
"Ehh...maybe," my dad replied not too convinced.
"What about Nicolas? My dad said
"Nah," my mom and I said at the same time.
"What about Santiago?" my mom proposed.
"Yeah. It is nice. Do you like it dad?" I asked
"Yeah. It is nice," he said.
"So Santiago it is," my mom finally said.

Santiago Mesa Rodriguez, the name of my new baby brother.

When the time came my mom was in the hospital and my dad and I were waiting for Santiago. Santi has been an audacious boy since he was in my mom's womb. He pooped inside! He almost died in there. If he ate it he would die, but thank Goodness he didn't and now he's with us.

When he was born, the first time I saw him, I was so happy...He was perfect! He was kind of shubby, hairy, and the doctor said he was the biggest and heaviest baby born in that hospital! He was very big. I didn't care, he was my brother and I loved him. When I carried him in my arms for the first time I looked at him, at his little face and I just touched his delicate skin. I know I depict him a lot but I was so excited when I saw him...

When we took him home everyone was fascinated. He was so cute and so cheerful. He slept most of the day, but he slept with serenity. When I came from to school I always passed through my brother's bedroom and looked at him while he slept.

To be concise I loved him and cared about him a lot. I still do, but now he has his personality and he is not so inoscent...He still loves me and I know he also cares about me.

Good-bye

I hate saying good-bye. Today I remembered when my best friend in Venezuela moved to Bogota, Colombia. She is called Katia. She's actually from Mexico and we met before we both moved to Venezuela. It's kind of a crazy story.

My dad was transferred from Mexico to Venezuela, where I was born. When we arrived there my mom told me that a new girl was moving too. Her dad worked in the same company as my dad and she had my same age! That was such a coincidence...Well she became by best friend and we were in the same grade in the same school. She was my best friend. Like you know I'm quiet and timid so it is very difficult for me to make new friends. She helped me a lot making new friends. I don't know what I would've done without her... We both played the same sports, except soccer (I hate soccer), and we were both smart.

Everything went right until my dad told me that we were moving to Saudi Arabia. I know what you think. I am supposed to talk about her moving, not me, but everything was so tricky and I have to tell you about this. I was shocked because we were used to live there and we had our friends and in Saudi it was totally different. Women couldn't show their entire face, just her eyes and they couldn't drive. Women couldn't do anything! My mom was also perplexed because she was always able to drive, and now she would just be on the "camps" (houses gathered together) doing nothing. She hates doing nothing. Well everyone told us that we were moving so I opened my big mouth and told Katia, a big mistake...

She started to cry. I messed it all up and I wasn't suppose to live in about two months. At the end I wasn't leaving. My dad got another job and we stayed. Now Katia was the one leaving! I tried to look normally but I was also shocked. I would loose my best friend... They were moving in July or so. When the day of saying good-by came I thought it wouldn't happen like in my case. I didn't want her to go...I felt really sad and kind of lonely when she left. I hate saying good-bye.

At the end I also leaved about five months later, in December. I moved here to Panama. When I first came here to search our home and school before it was too late. I came here one week in November and passed through Bogota! I ended visiting Katia in Colombia. She totaly changed, but at least she continued to be my friend. She still liked the stuff that we both liked before she moved and she kept writing to me. We are still talking by facebook and msn, but we are now in separate places. I still miss her, but I can also cisit her. I think it is easier to leave than to say good-bye.

Finally Done

Today I remembered my trip in North Carolina. My dad just finished an MBA (Master of Business Administration) in Duke University so we traveled for his graduation. He was so busy... He almost didn't pass time with us and he traveled even more even tough he brought cool souvenirs.

North Carolina was quite cold for me, but I am kind of used to it because I've been several times in Bogota, Colombia and the temperature it's about the same. The university's campus was huge! We even had to use a map. It had the East Campus and the West Campus. We were staying in the David Thomas Center, a place where the people that do their MBA's by Internet stay for some time, like my dad.

My dad received his homework, assignments, and tests through Internet and send them back on certain time. His teachers send them the videos of each of the classes so that my dad could watch them on time or he would miss class. He practically does everything with the computer, but he also has to travel. The people of Duke want their students to experience other cultures so my dad traveled to many parts of the world such as Dubai, China, and Turkey. He brought us souvenirs from everywhere.

I noticed that my dad worked really hard in there. He had to work and to study and he was expected to do well on both! Do you know how difficult that is? When we got there, in North Carolina, my dad kept on studying but at least it was less work and we "passed time together" (my mom, my brother and I walked around the campus and traveled in the city while my dad was studying).

At the end my dad accidentally missed class so we passed that entire day with him. Finally some family time. I'm very thankful because he finally finished, and now he has a little bit more time with us. He' keeps traveling and working but now he passes weekends with us. On weekends we play golf together even though I don't like it much but I try to have some family time. Now he has time to watch some T.V. and even to talk to me peacefully, not in a hurry or with stress. He's now back to real life. Thank Goodness he finished.

Back to Venezuela

My dad works in a oil company so we're always moving everywhere. We have been lucky because we haven't moved outside of Latin America, even though we know it won't last much longer. Since I was a baby I've moved often. At age six we finally settled in Mexico. We lived there six entire years! That is very uncommon in my dad's company. We were very used to live in Villahermosa, Mexico. We all liked Villahermosa's affable environment and the people's kindness.

I remember the day when my dad told me that we were moving back to Venezuela. I didn't know how to react. Do I had to cry? Do I had to smile and hug my dad with joy? I didn't do either of them. I just stayed there looking at him siriously and perplexed. I started to ask him questions of Venezuela. Where are we moving? Is it nice? Where can we live? I kept on asking even the stupidest questions over and over. I sounded quite irascible. My dad was excited but kind of pissed up because of all my questions, but still he answered them. We were moving in June 30, 2006. I clearly remember that date. The day after my dad told me was kind of weird for me because I knew I wouldn't last longer in this school. I've been in the same school since I moved there.

The fact that I was leaving and that I couldn't tell anybody haunted me and made me feel that this week was interminable. Everything remainded me that I was leaving like the change in uniforms and the supplies list for next year. My teachers already knew it, but my friends didn't and I couldn't tell them until my dad would let me. We cannot tell anybody that we are leaving untill we know there's no way that we are staying, we have to be really sure. My teachers didn't give me all of new stuff for next year which made me feel like if I was a recluse...

At that time I was about nine I didn't hold secrets for a long time. I couldn't resist the urgence of telling someone that I was leaving until I opened my big mouth. The first person that I talked to about this was one of m friends, not my best friend but one of my good friends. pI felt profound peace when I told her; I calmed my urgency now. She said she already knew, but I wasn't sure about that. I know my mom talked a lot with her mom, but I didn't think that she will tell her that. I almost entreated her to don't tell anybody because no one was supposed to know that until the end of the school year or so. She agreed, but soon I knew she couldn't hold secrets long too.

Two days after I told her someone came to me and said,

"Are you leaving?"

I didn't know what to say

"Uhmm, yes but please don't tell anybody," I said.

Five seconds after I talked to that girl I knew I did the wrong thing...That thought reverbrated in my head the whole week. At the end everyone knew I was leaving. At the begining I tried to take my mom's sage advice, don't pay attention to everyone and just continue normally but everyone just pushed it so that could tell them everything. I didn't know that my best friend was so despondent because I was leaving until I sat with her one day at lunch. She didn't talk much and I asked her why.

"I'm just sad...You know, you are m best friend and you are leaving. What do I do now? I will be alone and you know I don't have a bunch of friends..."

I don't know what to say. She was so honest with me...I felt like if I could cry. Sometimes I abhor moving so much because I have to start all over again and it's very difficult to me.

"You know it is not as simple for me, I am the one that have to start all over. I have to make new friends, to get used to the country, to the people and all. I will miss you a lot. But at least we can talk by messenger," I said trying to make her feel a little better.

She didn't have a sad face anymore but not a happy face either. I knew she understood what I meant and that is one of the reasons she was my best friend, she understood me perfectly.

When I got home the same day I had to tell my mom that everyone knew that we were leaving... She didn't react badly. I thought she would make a tirade or something but I think she knew that I wouldn't resist long enough. She knows me perfectly.

The day came faster than what I thought, unfortunately. The day before I slept in my best friend's new house so she offered us to take us to the airport. My best friend's sad face impelled me to don't leave even though I knew that wasn't possible. We hugged each other for the last time. I was very sad becasue I was leaving but in the other and I was kind of excited because I was traveling to my home country. I didn't remember that I had to make new friends and that I was going to have new school and stuff, maybe that's why I wasn't so sad.

We finally arrived at Maturin, Venezuela. I thought it was going to be a fantastic place but it wasn't to be honest. It is a small city with also a small population. At that time I didn't care because where we were going to live was quite nice. We had to stay in a hotel until our stuff arrived from Villahermosa. I was happy in the Staunffer Hotel until mom told me that we, my brother Santiago and me, were going to start school soon. Everything happy ended there. My mom aldo told me that another girl , Katia, of my same age was coming too! Her dad works on the same company as my dad.

The worst day finally came. The first day of school was terrible for me...When my mom was took us to ISM, International School of Monagas, our new school I felt so nervous...I think my tremulous arms made Katia know that I was vey nervous and scared. I missed my old best friend a lot, even though I had my new friend. I thought she could help me to make new friends easier. Well, I finally settled there for two and a half years, but that's another story.